soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
