it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
