: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize