This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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