He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
