i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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