1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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