he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
