How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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