just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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