i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
