At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
