ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
