Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
