i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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