trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
