I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need moral support for this bender
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
