why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
