worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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