yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
