No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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