apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
