He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
