and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
