I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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