I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
