I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
