So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize