plz talk dirty to me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize