Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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