who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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