We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
