Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
