This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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