Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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