New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize