im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
