he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She bit a glass in half.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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