Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
