How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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