If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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