it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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