I understand Curling. That high.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
