So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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