Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize