Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
