I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize