Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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