I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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