their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
