super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i think my cat just said my name.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
