it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
