I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
