I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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