Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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