Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You took a bar mat shot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize