I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
