Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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