I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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