rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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