You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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