I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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