Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize