When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
