the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
