FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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