I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
