At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
