I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
