"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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