it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
