Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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