i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
