Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is Oprah even human
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
