Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
