At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
