He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
